Domestic Violence
is a repeated pattern of behavior used to gain power and control over another human being through the use of intimidation,emotional abuse,verbal abuse,physical assault,or sexual abuse.
What is the difference between an occasional spat and domestic violence? Domestic violence is a continuous pattern of behavior which can be tracked over a period of time.One partner dominates and controls the other through fear, humiliation,or assault.
There are many
types of abuse.
If you can say "YES" to any of these issues, you have identified an abusive relationship and need
to seek help.
The Wheel of
Power and Control
- This wheel symbolizes the relationship of physical abuse to other forms of abuse. Each spoke represents a manipulative tactic used to gain power or control over another person.
- The rim (physical abuse) supports the spokes (manipulative tactics) and gives the abuser his strength.
- Intimidation - Yelling, screaming, belittling, "playing with weapons".
- Verbal attacks - Lowers victim's self-esteem and invalidates perception.
- Isolation - Victim becomes prisoner in her own home.
- Minimizing, Denying, Blaming - "You made me hit you."
- Using Children - Threatens to kidnap them or take custody.
- Abusing Authority - Distortion of scriptures to demand total obedience.
- Economic Control - Traps victim without means to get help.
- Coercion & Threats - Keeps victim in continual fear and submission.
- Physical Violence - Used to instill fear and regain power and control.
Maybe you have known the fear and despair of living in an abusive relationship; the anxiety of never knowing when something you say or do will trigger the scorching verbal vomit or violence within him. You are afraid to confide in anyone else because he has warned you not to tell anyone what goes on inside the four walls of your home. You are afraid that even if you did go to your pastor or a counselor, they would not believe you because your husband is a smooth talker who can make you sound like a fool, or he may even be a respected leader in the church.
Take heart--there is help available to you
and, there is hope!
People care, and most of all,
God cares!
You are important!
You are valuable!
Shocking Statistics
- Over 30% (some estimate over 50%) of all murders of women in America are committed by intimate partners.
- Up to 6 million women are believed to be beaten in their homes each year. Four million incidents are reported. Most battered women never report their abuse.
- On the average, a woman is battered in the United States by a partner every twelve to fifteen seconds!
- 50% of all homeless women and children in America are fleeing domestic violence.
- 50-70% of men who abuse their partners also abuse children in the home.
- The average batterer is held less than 2 hours, and less than 1% serve any jail time.
Power and Control - Weapons of an Abuser
Learn about how an abuser maintains power over his victim. Not all abusers use physical violence (at first), but when their manipulative tactics are no longer effective, many abusers resort to physical violence to instill fear and regain control.
Developing a Safety Plan
If you are in an abusive relationship, you should develop a safety plan for yourself and your children. Follow the steps listed in this plan before you are attacked, so you will be prepared to flee at a moment's notice. Call GROW for an appointment to get help with this.
When you are attacked, press charges and get a restraining order.
Do not protect the abuser!
You are not alone….
call to Break the Silence!!!!!
309-786-GROW (4769)
